Yesterday I borrowed a book from my work friend Abby. It is the follow up novel to a novel I read awhile back. Inside was a piece of paper used as a book mark with a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that said “Beware what you set your heart upon, for it surely shall be yours”. Much like the old adage “be careful what you wish for”, Emerson’s statement is a warning to all to be completely sure of what you are asking for.
After reading this many memories came back to things that I wished, prayed, or hoped for in certain situations. I remember being completely enamored by a certain boy in seventh grade. After numerous rumors of our mutual affection we were finally brought together by a middle school dance. We danced every slow dance that night together and I was sure (as were my friends) that we would be an item. Needless to say it never happened and I pondered why, for a time much too long, until he moved schools and my thoughts moved elsewhere. I also remembered at one point in life I had my heart set on becoming a famous actress a la Julia Roberts. I loved loved loved her and wanted to be like her. I used to tell people that one day they would see me on TV. I even imagined that I might possibly get my start on Mickey Mouse Club or a sitcom like Saved by the Bell or California Dreams. (10 points for anyone that remembers that show)
There were many more memories of things my heart longed for but the common thread in all is that my heart and my mind changed and whatever dream I had faded. I would like to take credit and say that by my own understanding I realized what was best and moved away from these ideas but really what I think happened was gentle shepherding on the part of my Savior whose understanding is so much greater. Sort of like a sheep who in their limited understanding wonder from the fold into danger because something has caught their eye I was wondering to the wrong people and places. What I also remember about these times is that in the process of change I moved into sort of a wilderness. I was wondering lost and looking for my promise land, my answer, and my peace. I couldn’t go back to my old wants and desires because they no longer satisfied but I couldn’t quite figure out where I was supposed to be going either.
My understanding of what was best then could have and most likely would have led me to a place far from Christ. Our understanding is limited and uninformed at best. At worst, if we choose to lean fully on it, very dangerous and fully capable to taking us to places, people, and things that look nice on the outside but are not for our ultimate good. In the wilderness it’s easy to access your situation and how you got there in order to form a plan to get yourself out, but it’s better to wait for your shepherd to steer you back in the right direction. Even in my own life now there are times I want to take the reins and find my own way out and when I do choose this way I do nothing but move from one side of the wilderness to the other no closer to the promise land than when I began. If what Emerson said is true and what we set our heart upon we will obtain we most certainly want to set it upon what is steadfast, true, and good. Our own understanding can be swayed, misguided, and fooled but if we lean not on our own understanding but on His and wait for his direction and guidance we will most certainly not only find our way out of the wilderness but into the promise land, into where we are suppose to be.
