I remember the year my mom and her two sisters began
comprising this collection of writings of my Aunt Karen’s that they had found
years ago after she died. They were organizing, printing, and binding them all
together so that my grandma would have them. As they were compiling this little
collection of writings I remember reading some of them and imagining what life
was like for her. I had never heard her voice or seen her in person but through
her writing I felt like I knew her.
Around the age of 7 or 8 I began to write poems. For me
writing was deeply personal and a way to allow myself to be vulnerable and like
my Aunt I would hide them away and not show anyone. I didn’t think that neither
I nor anyone else would benefit from sharing my work. Most of those first poems
were either thrown away or lost, but I kept writing through high school.
In college, as I was trying to figure out who I was and what
I was about, Jesus captivated my heart. It wasn’t an overnight experience. It
was years and years of Him faithfully holding my hand. I had long professed His
name, but I don’t think it was until college that I really loved Him. As I
learned to let Him love me, I started to learn how to love who He created me to
be. I also started learning how to use the gifts He had given me despite my
insecurities and fears. “Perfect love casts out fear” and His perfect love
enabled me to let go of my worries, allow myself to be vulnerable, and share my
work with others. I started sharing my work with friends, and then started
posting some as Facebook notes, and then I decided to start a blog. These may
seem like small inconsequential steps but I’m so thankful for them and for Him
leading me a little at a time. Stretching me out of my comfort zone and holding
me securely as I move forward. God is good.
A year ago I took another small step and submitted some of
my work for a local magazine and into a national contest. I never really heard
back from the magazine and in October I was notified that my work hadn’t been
chosen in the contest and I was pretty discouraged. The enemy really pressed me
and I struggled this last fall to write.
Over the holiday break I was inspired to write a children’s
book based on two of my friends. I thought to myself, “if I could really do
this for a living it would be a dream”. I was hesitant to start and was
fighting doubt, but I felt the love and encouragement of the Holy Spirit. I was reminded that what I do doesn’t define
me but who I belong to does. And all the pressure was lifted. I wrote the
children’s book and I love it.
About two weeks ago I
received an email from the magazine I had submitted some of my work to almost a
year ago. They were notifying me that they wanted to use ‘Arise, My Love’ for
their upcoming issue coming out tomorrow! I am so excited! The thought of my writing being
published is something I never would have thought could happen at the age of 8,
but I’m starting to believe that “anything could happen”. (Shout out Dala!!!)
I am also excited that they chose ‘Arise, My Love’ because
it is based on one of my favorite passages in Song of Solomon chapter 2:
My beloved speaks and says to me:
“Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
and come away,
for behold, the winter is past;
the rain is over and gone.
(Song of Solomon 2:10-11 ESV)
The Lord has been so good to me and I am so thankful for Him
pursuing me. For Him pushing me to trust Him and for Him reminding me
constantly of His love and faithfulness. I am thankful to my friends and family
who are so supportive and encourage me when I’m doubtful. And I am thankful for
my Aunt Karen who never knew me, but has inspired me and influenced me to
pursue something deeper than shallow water both in my life and in my writing.
