Oh December

There are times when I feel Your presence more prominently. Right now is one of those moments. As I lay here on the couch under the warmth of my blanket and the slow breathing of my precious red bow collared little dog my thoughts are meditating on You. I can hear muffled knocking at the apartment next door and deep down I wish the knocking was for me. The faded voices from the TV seep out from under my roommates door into the living room and I am reminded of the excitement she is feeling as she gets ready to go see the person she holds close to her heart. She has had this exciting buzz about her all afternoon in anticipation of being reunited with him. I remember that feeling. A Birds of Paradise candle fills the room with a sweet smell and the flickering of the flame is the only other light that accompanies the Christmas tree.  I love this time of year and I love the feeling of this room. It feels still. It feels warm. And while my heart wishes there were someone here with me I know that I am anything but alone. I can fully feel Your spirit. I can almost audibly hear You telling me “I know, I know” as my soul whispers the hurts of my heart. And as I cast these cares on You, I feel as though I am no longer on this couch in this dark room but I am curled up in Your lap resting in Your presence.  It is a safe place. This precious moment is not lost on me. I only wish that in these times I could press pause and make the moment last forever. That if it were possible I could highlight this paragraph in the story of my life so that one day when I need to be reminded of why I love You and how You have loved me I can flip back the pages in my mind easily and this night be seen in my heart.